Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My little one..

My last post in this blog was written when I was on medical leave due to my d&c. My life buddy persuaded me to write about our bali trip just to make me not to think about our lost. The bali trip story is still not finished until now.

Few months back my life buddy asked me.. 'kenapa dah lama tak update blog? dulu macam-macam cerita you tulis.. sekarang kenapa tak tulis dah?' and I answered.. 'sebab sekarang i cerita kat you..' and he smiled.. Yupp it's true that most stories that I should have written in this blog I had shared with him especially on our early morning talks. My daily schedule is totally different with his. I wake up early every morning to go to school while he is still sleeping. When I come back from school he will be away to work, either at mummy's place or any other studios he will not be home until very late at night. So every time I had the chance to spend with him, I will not spare every second. On weekends or public holidays when I am not on duty (my warden duty) we will spend the morning to keep up with each other.

After full recovery from my d&c I had spent most of my time doing my school work. Working over my grief. It helps a lot. Without knowing when or how, I started not feeling good, feeling tired all the time and so on. It was when I went to Ipoh for a course I could feel that I am pregnant again. And a test on a blue stick proves it. Worried that the same thing will happen again, I had my first check up when I was 6 weeks pregnant. At that time my life buddy did not want to tell anyone about the good news because he was afraid that the same thing will happen. I still remembered it clearly 'tunggu sampai ada heart beat baru cakap kat orang' he reminded me over and over again. And this pregnancy is not a smooth one too. Been on bed rest for 3 different occasions, still vomiting until now and many more. This week is my 32nd week of pregnancy and after going through so many things (and still is) I am glad I made it. Thanks to my life buddy, my family and close friends for the support.

Few moms might have a smooth sail on their pregnancy and some might not. Mine was not so smooth but I cherished every second of it. Feeling the baby moves in my tummy is just a miracle, especially now when he/she is getting bigger and stronger. My life buddy decided not wanting to know the gender of the baby. He wants it as a surprise but I am the one having problem doing the shopping. Hehehehehhe.. all universal colours. What to do..

As I thought I was going to end this beautiful period I was to make another decission for the both of us. As most of the mums to be would like a normal birth, I would like one too.. But due to some medical condition I was asked to do a c-sect. For my precious little one.. I will do anything for you sayang... To be continued.. Need to go for my warden duty.. Might be the last duty before I am off for my cuti bersalin...