Thursday, November 20, 2008


I know everyone hates of being sick.. I was quite sick earlier this year and I am quite sick now.. Every time I fell sick I really appreciated the times I was healthy.. Being able to do anything, to eat everything and so on..

When I am sick, I felt very hopeless on not being able to do things I usually do. I am the independent type of person, I don't mind going places alone and I don't even mind eating alone in public places. Even though I am married I am still very independent.

Talking about the topic of being sick, I have to good friends who are very sick now. One with multiple sclerosis (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Multiple sclerosis (abbreviated MS, also known as disseminated sclerosis or encephalomyelitis disseminata) is an autoimmune condition in which the immune system attacks the central nervous system, leading to demyelination. Disease onset usually occurs in young adults, and it is more common in women.) and the other one is with meningitis (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Meningitis is a medical condition caused by inflammation of the protective membranes covering the brain and spinal cord, known collectively as the meninges. The inflammation is usually caused by infection with viruses, bacteria, or other microorganisms but may also arise due to certain drugs, or other diseases. Meningitis is potentially life threatening due to the inflammation's proximity to the brain and spinal cord; it is therefore a medical emergency.) The one with meningitis is in coma now. Thinking of both of them I am glad that I still far healthier even though I am quite sick now.

All these years I have learn that we must live our life to the fullest in all means just for things like this. Live life to the fullest but not the ones that you will regret later. Ok.. I need my rest now. Hopefully I will recover soon.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I am almost done!! -part three

My body is aching... I really need a good night sleep... I nearly fell last night when I was at Kelana Jaya sending off Pak Chu... These assignments are killing me... I need my sleep..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I am almost done!! -part two

This is my 6 and half years of teaching experience. As other teachers in Malaysia, the long awaited long school holidays are just around the conner. I had actually the whole year studying J language, so I had actually missed the school for the year. No more marking exam papers, marking books, doing tonnes of clerical jobs which had been a big burden for teachers in Malaysia lately. The most important of all, no more school politics which I really hate so much. But this will change, next year I am going to be relocated to a new school and I hope I will start fresh.

In August 2007, I had went for the interview for this course. On the interview, Miss A had said to me and to most of the course participant that we will be a better teacher after the course if not a good J language teacher and as we are at the end of the course Miss A's words had came true.

The one year course was very tedious, and for me personally the course had been very upsetting. The time spent had should be concentrating on us being a good J language teacher as for the language itself but the times had actually spent on doing things that were a bit inappropriate for me. Further more we had been through an emotional session which had been very upsetting for me and my classmates. Besides the normal school politics scenario it has been a bigger heart breaking scene. We had actually became a better teacher by promising not being like our teachers.

I had been in schools that the principal sucks and had made the students suffer but the one I experience was worst as so called 'professionals' did not actually act like one. Be gone with your doctorates or masters.. you guys suck!! Big time!!

These are my pledge on being a better teacher after I finished the course:

1. I won't be like Miss A. I won't:
a. Talk bad about my boss to my students.
b. Cry in front of my students telling my personal problems.
c. Cry in front of my students in what ever situation. I should be emotionally professional...
d. Ask my students to give feedbacks on my teaching and later not accepting it.
e. Burn my midnight oil and boasting to others about it.
f. Stab my colleague at the back by telling my students my colleague hates them.
g. Put high expectation on my students and denying it later.
h. Joins my students for a meal and later says it out loud regretting it because it is a waste of
i. Ask my students to do reflections but me myself never reflects what happens in my life.
That's why Miss A there are so many people hates you.
j. Boasting on things I had done to my students and ask for recognition for it.
k. Tell bad things about my personal life for sympathy.
l. Think that I am the best.
m. Dress up just only because I feel insecure.
n. Scold my students in front of outsiders.
o. Scold my guess speaker in front of my students.

2. I won't be like Dr Z. I won't
a. Feel that "I am the boss so lick my ass people"
b. Ask from my staff to make a birthday party for me.
c. Ask my students their problems and later denying every of it.
d. Scold my students blindly and not knowing there's someone important kid inside the
e. Prefer ass licking staff rather than others.

Well the main reason I am writing this is to remind myself later on not being like them.. I had a longer list actually... I will update it time by time.. I am counting my days leaving this hell..

Friday, November 7, 2008

The road taken...

I am lost right now.. I don't know either I should feel it this way... But I am damn lost.. In a room full of people I felt alone.. Smiling faces, friendly voices but yet I am still lost... This is not my world.. I don't belong here but this is the road taken... The road I have chosen.. I am not looking back... I am just searching deeper... I hope I can find what I am looking for but again this is not my world... I don't belong here...